People are naturally curious about all kinds of things, things that are unusual or that are different, or perhaps that they are a little surprised by. So it will come as no surprise to you, like it doesn't to us, that questions or looks do come our way when people spot Daisy's hand. This is human behaviour, nothing malicious or mean, just normal human responses.
Even if it is normal it can be difficult to answer or respond to, simply because we have emotions tied in there too. I wouldn't say we forget about her little hand, we are often amazed at some of the things she does in day to day life and are taken aback at times but generally we forget that others don't always know about it, what can cause the condition, etc. Therefore questions will always come our way.
I have mentioned before on my blog that it tends to be children that would ask or notice, adults don't quite know how to behave and pretend to not notice or chose to ignore it, after having a little look of course.
I have been "lucky" in some ways that I haven't really had many questions outside of family and friends and so haven't had to overcome it very often. It would be on our holiday, with people who can't speak or understand our language (and vice versa for me!) that then the questions decide to pop up! I couldn't help but giggle about it after, just my luck!
The first time was a little girl, probably no older then 5/6, German and with the most worried little face you have ever seen! We were waiting for our take away pizza and Daisy was milling around the kids corner watching the bigger children chatting and watching a film when the girl noticed Daisy's hand. We spotted her having a little look for a few minutes before she turned to me to ask about her hand, still looking really worried! I have no idea what she said, but insisted Daisy was OK, it didn't hurt and she was okay. I must have said ok about 10 times, whether she understood or not I don't know but she did seem a tiny bit less worried afterwards. She could have asked me if her hand had fallen off, or been cut off or anything, and there I was saying it's okay!!! But we do what we can :)
The next time we were sat in a square having lunch in Verona and an older man from Israel (Or that is what I translated anyway!!!) started chatting to Daisy, I understood very little of what he said and I am not sure he had a clue what I was saying either! Oh the joys of not knowing other languages! After a little while I saw him catch a glimpse of Daisy's hand as she flung her banana towards me in disgust (toddlers and their food behaviours!!!) and then I thought to myself he will either ask me or pretend he didn't notice and scurry away! well, he said something whilst pointing to his own hand. Again I just answered in the same way, she is okay! Again I did giggle, why now do people ask?!
I may joke about it but asking questions is completely okay, it isn't rude (said in the right manner!!) and it isn't out of order but somehow as a society we avoid it. We simply either scoot around the matter or try our best to ignore it. We all have curiosities and should be brave and polite enough to talk to people. it is the only way we can share awareness and make these beautiful little differences be seen as normal.
I have a good friend who also has a beautiful uniqueness with her daughter and I often chat to her about this. And a chat this week made me think about this a little more. Why people make assumptions or show ignorance I will never know. We all need to be a little more open and warm to these situations, just like children are.
Hayley xxx
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