So where did this post come from? After watching Jess' latest post on Youtube from Lilypod and sweetpea it hit me that some of the ways I've been feeling are felt by most other mummies and in fact they're normal! The key to it all and the answer to all of these thoughts is that I should be savouring every minute with her and just rolling with it as I won't get this time back again.
I shouldn't be trying to bundle her off to sleep just so I can mop the floors or polish the place, it can wait. It doesn't matter. I already know my time with her is precious because I am due to go back to work in October, due to financial reasons sadly. So I really do need to make the most of being a full time mummy as it's not going to last forever, heartbreakingly. If only money was no object and I could take a year with my girl...
Jess talks about being over whelmed about all of the pressures she puts on herself and it really made me feel sad to see her talking about that, as I've felt it too and I'm sure it's something all of us feel at times. So I thought I'd just talk about some of those thoughts.
First up, I've got thinking to do about my return to work (thinking about it makes me have a bad head), what will it look like in terms of days, routine, things won't be like they were will they? I worked away a few days a week and I'm really not sure how I'll feel about being cooped in a hotel room alone when my family are at home without me. But for now it's going to the back of my head, I've decided I'll snuggle when she naps, interact as much as I can and basically enjoy every minute I can with her. She won't be this little forever, she is already growing flipping fast!! And the weeks are running away with me.
Late afternoons- early evening can sometimes be Daisy's witching hour when she doesn't know what she wants and neither do I! The minute tea is ready she is off on one, whining, generally just unsettled. As much as it frustrates me that I can't eat my tea in peace and it's hard work I do count my blessings as she is a good sleeper during the night, quite often sleeping through if not 6/7 hour stints. I would rather her tire herself out then than have me up in the night! I'd rather sleep than eat basically!! Haha!!!
Other mummy moments that have dawned on me recently is the idea of baby groups. When I was in the later weeks of pregnancy I was going to a Surestart group- Bumps and Babies. I then went a few times when Daisy had arrived. However I soon realised that it wasn't for me. Luckily I went with my sister and her baby girl so there was someone there I could sit and chat with because the rest of the group I didn't find all that relatable (is that a real word??!). They are an older group generally and there appears to be not one of them who need to work and I just feel a little judged and out if that clique if you like. I would much rather go to see my niece so Daisy can interact that sit in that stuffy room with people I would probably never socialise with outside. A task of mine is to find a new group somewhere as I don't want to wish id made more effort when I looked back and also it can only be good for Daisy!!
Lots of love,
Hayley xxx
