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Dear Daisy, It is your first day at school...

I am mummy. I am me.

I I am mummy. I am me. 


I've been having a few conversations lately and have read a few things about how sometimes you can lose yourself as a mum, and well just not feel like you. You get so wrapped up in your little Wolfpack that somehow you forget you have your own identity and that you have needs too. 

I actually don't agree, I completely see how someone would though and I'm sure I've said it before now and meant it.

But thinking about it, is this not our newly formed identity? I may well be mummy, but that is most certainly me now and I love it. I may not be the old carefree independent me but I'm pretty glad about that actually. I may have lost my birth name the majority of the time and even my husband may call me mum but I am still Hayley, just a slightly different version as well I have aged and well reproduced these two little people! 


However there are still small points of those chats that have stuck with me. Just because we've changed into this new "me" doesn't mean we have to leave everything behind. And this has got me thinking. What did I love to do before children? Why don't I do it now? 

There's a bit of a list of things and 90% of things I don't miss and wouldn't want to waste my time on. However, for example I miss the excitement of planning those special breaks with the girls, the type you do just a few times a year that takes you somewhere new, or to see something you've never seen before. I used to love organising these trips and well I guess I just forgot about that, not that I can't or shouldn't be experiencing them, I just forgot! 

I forgot that I like to wear nice clothes, I like browsing ASOS and putting in orders that I'll no doubt return 50% of! This point may have come from the fact that I've had to think about expanding tummies, boobs and being breastfeeding friendly. But ASOS accommodate this too you know woman! 


I even forgot I like a soak in the bath.
To do my nails.
Read a book. 
Watch a film. 

So we've got some breaks being planned in as we speak, one that actually isn't all too far away and makes me a little nervous but excited all the same! I know my babies will be just fine with their daddy, like they always are. Or who ever else they may be left with. I have no issue leaving them but I just never need to very often. I talk like I'm a pro at this mothering thing but I'm yet to leave little A, he is only 8 weeks though so I'm sure I'll let myself off! I'm not giving up these squishy new cuddles for just any old thing. 

I've started browsing the online stores again, and yep I even put some orders on. And I sent half of it back! Why change a habit of a lifetime? 

I am me. Mummy. 

But I can still do the other things I love. 

Hayley xxx

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