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My Threenager | Becoming a YES Parent

Threenager? A phrase I hadn't heard of being having a toddler. The urban dictionary defines “threenager” as a 3-year-old spouting attitude like a spoiled teenager.

A threenager
We escaped the terrible twos with Daisy, she was seemingly an easy toddler who was pretty easy to entertain and look after. I guess she still is really, but with a few funny... turns? (That seems pretty awful to say out loud) Basically, she has a few moments, some days a lot more than others where she is difficult. Difficult to please, difficult to console and well makes the day feel pretty sad at times. It makes me wonder is it the reality of nurturing an independent, strong headed girl? But then I know a fair few little boys who are encountering the same types of behaviours.

The worst thing is that it is nothing in particular that can trigger it, or nothing glaringly obvious that I have spotted anyway. If I had it may be easy to resolve and possibly avoid! Most of the time the "turn" is at home and so it isn't as if she falling to the floor in the street or anything distressing like that. But it is still so upsetting. She can start by shouting the odds and crying uncontrollably, to basically looking like she has being possessed. Now it isn't normal behaviour for her so something is causing it. But what?

Could it be that her knowledge of the world is growing but her complete understanding isn't keeping up and it is frustration building? Or is it that she is growing and it is just emotions? Caused by all that growing she is doing? I really do think it is a combination of all those factors, plus some. Some I will have missed, some I am oblivious to.

She is so loving and caring most of the time, so placid and pleasant than when she does get these moments it is even more out of character. It is like we are walking on egg shells, terrified we will upset this little dictator at any given time!

It isn't standard behaviour for her, she isn't a "naughty" (I know, I know, we aren't supposed to use that phrase any more, labelling and all that) child, she is a pleasure to be around and i love spending time with her, which is why I just wish those awful moments away. I like to reflect on the better times we have together and make sure I spend that quality time with her to listen and chat and be at the same level. Bedtime is the perfect example, it gives us a little moment to sit and read, talk about book, talk about days and talk about the next day. That way I know she has gone to sleep at the end of a day knowing she is listened to, understood and loved, usually in a happy place.

How to become a yes parent

I guess the purpose of this post was to say I think it is normal. Normal for a 3 year old to have emotional out bursts, normal to test their parent/ carers patience and well just normal to be 3 years old. To get through it I am trying to be patience, considerate and as loving as possible. Trying to be that yes parent, not avoiding any situations but hopefully making it easier for us all on the whole.

How have you found that third year?!

Hayley x

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