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Stepping out of my comfort zone

10:14:00 The little things... 0 Comments

I haven't really sat down and written many personal posts recently, mainly because it has all been go with working, holidays and other things filling up my time and to be honest I haven't really known what to write for a while. A bit of writers block perhaps! (Not that I am a writer as such!)

Recently I had to go to Paris with work which meant an over night stop on my own. This isn't the first time I have had to stay away with my work, I have stayed away probably hundreds of times in my career, but since having Daisy I have really dropped those travel times and only done a few. When I have stayed away until now I have been so lucky in that Ben and Daisy have both come with me. So although I don't see them really at least I know they aren't far away and then I see them for tea and bedtime. And the times they haven't its not been too awful because I was just a drive away from them. 

When I went to Paris the original plan was for them to come along. But for one reason and another flights were expensive and for just the one night it didn't seem worth it. It was super hot in Paris too with a heatwave, temperatures at almost 40'c so it was probably a good job they stayed at home. In the days that lead to me having to go I was really sad and felt a bit down, I said a few times that i didn't want to do my job anymore and I just want to be a mum! I say "just be a mum" very lightly, because actually as time has gone on I really don't think I could be a stay at home mum full time, that is hard going!!! But a nicer split of maybe working just 2 days would be lovely! Or maybe 3 half days, I am dreaming again, Oh and I would like to work local, maybe somewhere I could drive to in 10 minutes or walk to. Again I am dreaming. I digress, What I am trying to say is that it was so difficult to get myself motivated to want to go. 

The morning I had to leave I had to leave home just after 2am, Daisy had us up at 1.30am and so I can tell you it was a very long day!!! On the drive to the airport I have to admit I had a few sneaky tears, it felt so much harder than ever before. I have no idea why. 

When I got to Paris I had in my mind that I would just grab a taxi to the hotel and then to where ever my meeting was. Easy and stress free, almost. But when I was waiting to go through Passport control in Paris I had a little think. Maybe I should push myself out of my comfort zone and try and get there whilst seeing some of Paris. I have been there before, and I love it. It is very special to me, I got engaged there! Anyway I had a good think and a bit of a Google and decided I would get the bus into Paris and then possibly the metro or a taxi the last little bit dependent on the time. So I did just that! I was a little nervous, what if I was going the wrong way? What if I got lost? I rely on Ben so much when we are away, he is a good traveller and so organised! Always knows where we are going and how we will get there! 

In one way I was pleased I did and in another I felt extremely travel sick by the time I got to the hotel! 

For the rest of the stay I decided to stick to the Metro (Paris' equivalent of the underground) and RER (trains) . I was so nervous!!! These stations are busy, busy, busy! Hot and have hundreds of platforms! I could easily have got on the wrong train at any time! I was also conscious that I was carrying around luggage that not only contained my usual possessions but also my passport and money! I really did want to get home at some point and not get stuck there! 

Anyway, I was so proud of myself. And stepping out of my comfort zone really gave me a great sense of satisfaction, I could do it! And I could get home to my baby! I actually felt really happy about my trip for that reason alone, I could go where ever I wanted and survive! And it made me think maybe I should try stepping out of that warm, easy,  comfort zone more often... 



Lots of love, 

Hayley xxx

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