Well this time next year I will hopefully have two children,
a 2 year old and a six month old baby. Yep, I am pregnant! I just need to remind
myself who’s idea was this? It now seems slightly crazy!
With my 1st pregnancy I remember that anxious
feeling, what will it be like having someone rely on you for EVERYTHING? How
will I cope knowing that It is my responsibility in keeping this mini person
alive? Scary thoughts. But it all worked out in the end, the nervousness turned
to excitement in the last trimester and I just couldn’t wait to meet my baby.
Now this time around the apprehension has doubled, how will
I keep 2 children alive? My god I barely feel like I keep myself going some
days! That is probably the morning sickness and tiredness talking but it really
does feel that way sometimes, but I know this time that it is all normal to
feel like this and actually it is going to be exciting! Yes, stressful at
times, and exhausting, but fun at the same time. And I now know how worth it is
having a child! Something I have gained since my first pregnancy.
During my first pregnancy I suffered from HG and was
considerably poorly, I barely ate or drank anything for the first 4 months or
so and had to have medication to control the vomiting. You can imagine the fear
I felt considering I was risking it all over again when we decided to have baby
number 2! I have been extremely lucky and actually got away with just morning
sickness (I am not be littleing “just” morning sickness at all, believe me I
have felt naff this last few months so I feel your pain! But it really isn’t
the same level of pain as I had the first time around), the nausea has been
difficult and exhausting but I have come through the worst of it, I hope.
There
is a very high chance that if you have had HG before then you are likely to
suffer again, but I was one of the very lucky, rare ladies who haven't. Now
don't get me wrong it is awful, and I have struggled, I am in bed by 8.30pm
every single night, I rarely see my husband once I have put Daisy to bed, the
list of frustrations could go on. BUT I AM FEELING EXTREMELY LUCKY!!!
The difference with this pregnancy has also been that I have
a toddler to look after and love, I will be honest I have so much help available
with looking after Daisy but making myself get up and do it myself, enjoying
time with her so doing things like swimming lessons still really did help. It
didn't feel like it at times, when I'm sat retching at the thought of having to
cook her tea and getting in the car to go somewhere when I'm feeling so naff
but it really did help in those early days. And having her reminds me that it
certainly is worth it! How easy it will be as this pregnancy progresses I am
not sure, I forgot how exhausting pregnancy really is, never mind chasing a
pesky toddler all over the place!
The only other thing that is really panicking me is that I
have to get this baby out! Getting Daisy into this world was not the easiest
task I have ever set myself, it involved days and days of labour, epidurals,
vomiting, screaming, losing consciousness, assisted deliveries, the dreaded
episiotomy and having my lady bits “fixed”, delightful. I just can’t wait to do
that again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However much I laugh or joke, I can’t tell you how truly
grateful I am for the opportunity!
