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The Little Things in life... 18 weeks on the bathroom floor


I think the title of this gives it away a little, I’m referring to pregnancy and the only ability I had for pretty much 18 weeks. Well okay it may be a little less than that because it didn’t come crashing down on me until probably 6/7 weeks into the pregnancy. But my god it feels like an absolute lifetime looking back.

I was so excited to start a family with Ben, other than Bobby the dog of course and couldn’t wait until the day we got the news we were after. And as a huge surprise to me, it didn’t take long and before we knew it and had much time to think about it, it happened! We were lucky really looking back, I have known friends and colleagues that have spent a long time wishing for a child and to find it can take years to get what they always wanted. It must be so frustrating and heartbreaking.

I felt great at first, but not pregnant. I am not sure what I expected it to feel like but that wasn’t it, I felt.. nothing! Okay so I was tired but that’s nothing unusual for me! I would wonder sometimes if it was how it would just be for my pregnancy or maybe something wasn't right and my hormones were not doing what they should be to protect that little bean! You do hear about people who sail through pregnancy without a symptom though so I thought wow! maybe for a change I am the lucky one, who says pregnancy is awful?! Me! I shouldn't have had conned myself! By 6/7 weeks I started to get nauseous like I had never felt before, dizzy, sick, faint and shaky. It was awful, think of your worst hangover and stick with it for weeks! This was morning sickness. Not at its worse.

After a few weeks of random sickness and other pregnancy symptoms like acne, trapped wind and head aches (oh such a joy!)  it hit me and I would find myself sat on the bathroom floor for long periods of time for hours a day just wishing I could have a drink or nibble on something like a ginger biscuit. Everyone tells you when you are pregnant "little and often" or "pull yourself together, its mind over matter". I can tell you, if only that was true! At about 9 weeks I had to go to the doctors, I couldn’t handle it anymore and I was worried it was getting out of control. It was starting to not only affect my health and obviously I had concern for the baby too but also my work and my home life were affected. I spent most of the time in bed! I felt a bit of a failure and a bit of a wimp because I couldn't cope anymore. The doctors prescribed me some Cyclizine. Sadly this didn’t quite do the trick for me, in fact it made me a million times worse! It can affect your blood pressure, causing it to drop suddenly and make the room spin and your eyes see flashing lights as well as the jaundice it brought out in my skin and eyes! So no... I stopped that. I do know people though however that this drug has suited and done the trick.

Next up was a form of Stemetil. Now this, thank goodness did the trick! It didn’t remove the nausea, and I felt sick ALL of the time until around 16/17 weeks and I felt weak and basically rubbish! BUT it stopped MOST of the actual vomiting which allowed me to drink most importantly and start to eat normally again. I learnt during this time about Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), it’s something I knew as severe morning sickness, and that Kate Middleton had in fact been hospitalised with it! I also knew of my aunt who had also been very poorly with the condition and had also been hospitalised for long periods of time when pregnant. But I didn’t know that much about it at all...

If you don’t know about it then there are lots of sites you can read up on it from such as this:

http://www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/help/hyperemesis-gravidarum/

I was diagnosed with HG, but I must say as much as I felt out of control and that my world was ending (very dramatic!!!!) there are different levels of severity and there are much, much worse cases than mine! I was lucky that I got myself treated before it took too much of a hold, but some girls jut think it’s part of pregnancy and try to "deal" with it. It’s not just morning sickness, and you should not have to suffer un-necessarily.

Quite a depressing post isn't it! but It was one I felt I needed to write about, especially if I am to blog about my pregnancy etc. I look back and think it was awful but now I still have my baby growing away, wriggling about inside my tummy and I realise it was just a stage that the pregnancy went through.

This is baby Chall at 12 weeks:


Not all my posts will be this miserable but I do want to be honest what pregnancy can really be like! I will also talk about the nice bits too. But that will have to wait until we are back from our "babymoon", or as most of us know it a little holiday to the Canaries where hopefully we will see the sun even for a few hours and get a bit of rest while we can! I really do need to do some packing! I'd never thought about how stressful packing for a holiday would be when your belly protrudes through everything and your boobs are squished in to what ever they can! 

Anyway... I best crack on! 

Lots of love,

Hayley xxx

1 comment

  1. Everytime you post the truth in this way, it helps other people. Hope things got much better for you

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