Is That It?


I go back to work next week and it's dawned on me, will this be my last few days on maternity leave. Ever? 

 

Will I ever be the Mummy on maternity leave again, my tummy growing rapidly, washing the clothes ready, packing the hospital bag, waiting anxiously for those waters to erupt, riding those waves of pain and pushing out something that resembles a barrel out of somewhere it shouldn't be able to squeeze out of? The last time I look down and see the tiny little human I've been busy baking peering up at me with squinty eyes for the very first time, clumsily feed my baby for the first few times and then spend sleepy days sniffing that new, fluffy hair and following the demands that comes with a baby? 

The long nights of baby squeaks and snuggles, the tricks you find to be able to put baby down for just ten minutes so you can get a hot drink but instead you sit and watch them sleeping peacefully. The first proud walks with the pram as everyone peers on in to see what little bundle you have in there, all the gorgeous white little sleep suits and all the battles with the breastpump? The mummy dates and the slow pace that comes with new babies... 

That feeling that you made this tiny, beautiful little person. Feeling proud. 

I'm not sure it will be my last time  we can't be can we? Pregnancy and babies are out of our hands. But if I have my way, I'd do it all over again. One day. Maybe. 





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